The First Time
by Raviolistbh
Summary: Swanqueen AU. Emma's letter to Regina.
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE; i'm trying to write little one shots while I work on a fic so here's this little piece. Please leave a review or message if you have questions or comment. Thank you!**

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When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful.

Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart.

And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears.

And when she was happy, so was I.

When she loved me

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_Dear Regina,_

_The first time I met you, I was terrified. I had just brought Henry back home and when you asked me who I was, I thought of running back to my car. But I nervously answered and I swear you wanted to punched me in the face. But I went inside and had cider with you, that's when I realized how beautiful you were. _

_The first time I argued with you, I was set on winning. We both sure are stubborn. I remember when I was cutting down your apple tree, you came storming out. Looking back on it, I feel terrible that I did that, but damn it felt good at the time._

_The first time I realized you weren't as cold hearted as everyone said you were was when Henry was stuck underground. You leaned so close to me, I didn't know if you were going to scream in my face or kiss me. But you looked into my eyes and told me to get Henry to safety. And that's when I realized that Henry was your entire world. _

_The first time I saw you cry was when Henry was in the hospital. I was so angry with you. I was so angry at everything. And it took me awhile to get over that anger. Of course I knew you would never intentionally hurt our son, but it still happened. But we got through it. _

_The first time I felt something between us was right before I went to FTL. You couldn't get Jefferson's damn hat to work but when I touched your arm, something sparked. I thought about it the whole damn time I was in FTL. I tried to pretend it didn't happen, tried to come up with a rational explanation but dammit it still stayed in the back of my head._

_The first time I realized you somewhat cared about me was when you absorbed a death curse so mom and I could come back. Granted, you maybe shouldn't have put it there in the first place but I understand it was protection against Cora. I looked at you and saw how exhausted you were. You looked at me and said "Welcome back". and I swear, if Henry hadn't been hugging me so tight, I would have shaken your hand, or given you a hug. Just something to show that I was so grateful for what you did. _

_The first time I realized how hard your life has been was when Cora died. You put her heart in her chest and your face was so damn hopeful. You were hoping so bad that she would be the mom you needed. But it killed her and you were crushed. You stayed in your house for a week straight and I wanted to come visit you. I guess I just didn't know what to say to you. _

_The first time we ate lunch together was at Granny's. I saw you sitting alone and I decided we were going to talk. I sat down with my food and the look you gave me was priceless. You were so surprised and kept questioning what I was doing. After a while though, we struck up an interesting conversation and I decided I loved talking to you. Everyday after that, we ate lunch together._

_The first time I realized I had feelings for you was when the whole town was about to be destroyed. You were going to sacrifice yourself to save everyone else. You looked at me with tears in your eyes and said "Let me die as Regina,". I swear I almost lost it. In that second, I thought about my life without you and couldn't stand the thought. I was willing to do anything to keep you safe. When we destroyed the gem together, I was so relieved._

_The first time you hugged me was when we were in Neverland. Pan had given me the map and everyone was expecting me to somehow get all the answers. Then I said how I still felt like an orphan. And the look on my parents' faces killed me. They looked so hurt but I couldn't control the way I felt. They tried saying something to me and I got scared and ran. My mom was just about to chase after me but I heard my dad tell her to give me time. I sat on the jungle floor and cried. Hook tried to come and talk to me but I told him to leave. But then you came. You didn't say a word, just came over and sat close to me. After a while we began talking. You told me that everything was going to be okay. You said I wasn't alone, that I had my parents who would do anything for me. You said I had Henry, who loved me with his entire little body. And then you said something that surprised me. You said "And you have me. Who cares about you." I started sobbing but I was embarrassed. I kept apologizing to you and before I knew what was happening, you wrapped me in your arms and suddenly I felt better. You whispered "Stop your damn apologizing," and I couldn't stop laughing. I wrapped my arms around you and squeezed. We sat there hugging on the jungle floor and I felt like we could do anything together. _

_The first time I asked you out on a date was also terrifying. We had been back from Neverland for two weeks. Henry was at a friend's house so I decided to go to Granny's for a bear claw. I was contemplating whether or not to go to your house and ask you on a date. But I just couldn't muster the courage to do it. I walked in the diner and there you were, sitting at the counter with your legs crossed and your brown hair resting on your shoulders. You looked up and smiled your beautiful smile and I melted. I sat next to you and you started talking to me. I was trying so hard to listen to what you were saying but the voice in my head just kept screaming at me to ask you. I was so nervous I felt like I had 100 bees in my stomach stinging me. I suddenly blurted out "Do you want to go out on a date with me tomorrow night?" You were so shocked but a sweet smile came across your lips and you said that yes, you would love to. We discussed a time and place and you walked out of the diner smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't wait until the next day. _

_The first time we went on a date was magical. You looked so beautiful and I was so nervous. We went to some fancy smancy restaurant but I was only focused on you. We had a great dinner, the conversation never died and I realized you were one of the funniest people I knew. We didn't want to end the date, so I took you to go get ice cream, You were taking little licks from your cone and staring up at the moon and I thought about how lucky I was._

_The first time we kissed was that night. I took you back to your house and walked you up to the door. I nervously stuck my hands in my pocket and told you I had a great time. You told me you were so glad we did this, then you kissed me. It was one of the most meaningful and tender kisses I had ever shared with anyone. _

_The first time we put a label on our relationship was two weeks had been doing things together almost every day for the two weeks. Sometimes it was just you and I but sometimes you, Henry, and I did something all together. It was great. I was over at your house watching a movie with you and Henry. Henry went to bed and I was resting my legs in your lap. I looked up and you sat there smiling like a dork. That's when I asked you what we were. You seem shocked at the question, not a bad shocked but more pleasantly surprised. Then you got all serious on me. You moved my feet off you, crawled into my lap, and placed your faces inches away from mine. I looked into your chocolate eyes and you said "Will you be my girlfriend?" It was one of the cheesiest damn things I'd ever heard and I loved it. I replied that I would, but only if you'd be my girlfriend and I kissed you. That night I couldn't stop smiling._

_The first time I stayed over at your house was wild. We had been dating for two months. Henry was on a camping trip with my dad so we had the house to ourselves. We went out to a late dinner and We got back around 9. You were cleaning the kitchen while I sat cross legged on the counter talking to you. You walked up to me and I wrapped my legs around you. You picked me up and we began kissing. Our kissing became so passionate that we were both out of breath. You carried me up the stairs into your room and gently laid me on the bed. We began kissing and you started to take my shirt off. You suddenly stopped and looked me in the eyes. You asked me if I was ready because you didn't want me to feel like you were rushing anything. I told you I was ready. That night we made love and it was the greatest thing. Every night after that, I spent at your house. _

_The first time we got into a fight was terrible. It wasn't a little argument or anything like that. You were mad at me because Hook started eating lunch with me at the station. You told me that he was doing it to try and get into my pants and I told you that there was obviously nothing going on and you were just jealous. I stormed out of the house and went to the lake. Sitting on the bench I realized how crappy I felt. I knew I was wrong and you were right because I would be angry too if someone else was eating lunch with you. After an hour, I went back to the house to find you sitting on the couch, tears running down your cheeks. I told you I was sorry for being an idiot and that I didn't mean to hurt you. You told me that I was indeed an idiot, but then you kissed me. I told you that we would be able to work through whatever happened. _

_The first time i said I love you was when you were sleeping. I woke up one morning to see you cuddled next to me. Your face was half covered by your hair and the other half was covered in sunlight. You were sound asleep and I leaned over and kissed your head. I brushed your hair out of your face and said "I love you,". Then I snuggled back up to you and fell back asleep._

_That was also the last time I got to say those words to you. I wish I would've said those words to you when you were awake. God Regina, I wish I would have. Because now you're gone and I can't say it to you out loud. The accident happened so fast I couldn't even process what my dad was telling me._

_It's been two months since you've been gone. Henry and I miss you like crazy. We're always going to be missing you. I was lucky enough to love you and I'm grateful for the time we were together. Every night at dinner Henry and I tell a story about you and you should see him. His eyes light up whenever he says your name. He's such a good kid, you raised him so well. He's so strong too, he's strong enough for the both of us. One night around 2 in the morning I was sitting in bed crying. Henry came in and hugged me. He didn't say anything, he just held me while I cried, like you used to do whenever I got upset. He tries to be strong for me but there are nights when I catch him crying. I try my best to comfort him but I don't think he'll ever truly be himself. He lost his mom. And I lost a big piece of my heart that no one can ever refill. Wherever you are, Regina just know that I love you. I loved you when you were here, I love you now, and I'll love you forever._

_Your love,_

_Emma_


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTE; okay so this is basically the same thing as the first one. but this one is written from Regina's point of view and it has a different ending.**

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I found what I'd been looking for in myself,

Found a life worth living for someone else.

Never thought I could be,

I could be,

Happy, happy.

##

_Dear Emma,_

_The first time we met I was shocked, both because of how gorgeous you are but also because I never expected to meet you. To be completely honest, I may have wanted to scream at you to go away, to go anywhere that wasn't near Henry. Admittedly, I didn't want you in his life at all. I know how bad that was but that was the old me. You came inside and had cider with me and you seemed so scared, I almost laughed. Little did I know how much of a pain in my ass you would be. _

_The first time we argued (out of many times) was over Henry and I thought we were going to physically fight. You came charging into my backyard with your chainsaw and began chopping my apple tree down. You thought you were so clever, yet I will admit you definitely achieved in spiting me. _

_The first time I realized you genuinely cared about Henry was in the hospital. You looked like your heart had been snatched out of your chest and you turned to me with hatred in your eyes. I can't really blame you for that though, I hated myself for a long time after that for what I did. _

_The first time I knew there was something between us was after you broke the curse. Everyone hated me and came after me, rightly so if I might add. You protected me, even though I had done nothing for you. Then when I was trying to get Jefferson's hat to work, the damn thing wouldn't budge. Then you touched my arm and suddenly it began whirring so fast I didn't have time to process what happened. But then you were gone._

_The first time I admitted I had feelings for you was when you were stuck in FTL. I kept thinking about that damn hat and I started to miss you so much I even began wearing the damn shirt you stole from me. So childish and pitiful I know, but I wasn't ready to accept the fact that I needed you around. But then you came back._

_The first time we ate lunch together without Henry was a few weeks after you got back from FTL. Neal was back and he was in the diner and I figured you were trying to avoid him by sitting down with me. But even after he left, you stayed an hour and we had the nicest conversation. I felt like I had butterflies in my stomach the whole but I would never admit that out loud. We began having lunch together more often and soon began spending more and more time together. _

_The first time you really cried in front of me was when you called me, drunk out of your mind. You were sobbing on the phone and told me you didn't know what to do. I asked where you were and came to pick you up. You told me you didn't want to go home so I brought you back to my house. As soon as we got inside, you clung onto me and told me you weren't cut out for this savior stuff. I let you cry on my shoulder until you couldn't cry anymore. I told you that you were truly the savior in shining armor, no matter how much it annoyed me. After that, I took you home but before you got out of the car you hugged me._

_The first time you asked me out on a date, I couldn't believe what had happened. You nervously sat down and began talking. Before I knew it, you asked if I wanted to go on a date with you and my tongue went numb while I kept opening and closing my mouth, trying to formulate a comprehensive answer. Finally I squeaked out a "Of course," and the smile on your face was so stunning I could've looked at it my whole life. _

_The first time we kissed was on our second date. You were staring at the ground, trying to write your name in the sand. You looked so precious and something in me made me reach out and caress your face. Then we were kissing and it was like the entire world melted away and it was just you and me. No kiss I had ever shared could match up to yours._

_The first time we put a label on our relationship was when you came to my office one day with lunch. I was in the middle of sending an email to Archie when all of a sudden you blurted out "Are you my girlfriend?" I looked up at you and your bright red face almost made me laugh. But instead I asked if you wanted me to be your girlfriend, to which you replied with a snort. When I started laughing, you stood up, walked over and said "Then it's settled, we're officially dating." You kissed me and walked out. _

_The first time we told Henry about us, he smirked and said "It's about time,". We both laughed so hard we eventually fell onto the ground, which Henry took as an opportunity to jump on us. _

_The first time we had a serious fight, I thought I was going to lose my mind. You told me I was too guarded against people who were only trying to help me. As you stormed out, I screamed that maybe I wasn't what you wanted. I swear my throat burned like I had just drowned an entire bottle of whiskey because it hurt so much to hear myself say those words to you. You slammed the door but a minute later you stormed back in and gently grabbed my face. "You are exactly what I want, Forever. I just want you to stop being so damn stubborn." Then you kissed me and suddenly the whiskey was replaced with honey because all I could taste on my lips was you. _

_The first time I said I love you was when we got back from dinner with your parents. You were wearing sweatpants and you had spaghetti stains on your sweatshirt and I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I blurted it out and you were so surprised I thought you were going to cry. And then you did. A single tear rolled down your cheek and you came over to the couch, snuggled in my lap. You looked my right in the eyes and told me you loved me and my head seemed like it was spinning. I never thought I'd truly love someone as much as I love you._

_But this time I messed up. I said things I didn't mean. I made you cry. You said things that hurt me and on instinct I got defensive and I'm so sorry. Emma, please know that I love you so much and seeing how broken you were made me wish I could have swallowed all the words that hurt you. I'm writing this letter because I'm not good at expressing my feelings and I would say something stupid and mess everything up. I want to be with you forever. I love you. I hope this isn't the last time I get to say those words to you._

_Love, Regina_

**NOTE; So here's this one. Like I said, it's really similar to the one from Emma's point of view. I also wanted to ask if you guys pay attention the lyrics at the top because I want to know if I should keep doing them or stop. Reviews would be great, thank you! **


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